5. Viking's Wheels - Vikings roll out in boats shaped like dragons, and that is the most balla shit you can do with your vessel.
4. Viking Attire - Vikings get the respect of the honorable Sir Flava Flave. The Viking helmet demands respect and glory. A Pirate's wardrobe looks like what the Queer Eye Guys would do to a Pilgrim. And Ninjas? The only people i see wearing all black are found at Hawthorne Heights concerts.
3. Fame and Fortune - Eric the Red, Leif Eriksson, and Hagar the Horrible. These Vikings were all smooth pimps and are always looked back on with much fondness. You could be like "Hey, Pat, what about famous pirates?". Fuck that. Pirates are gay. And name a famous Ninja. Thats what I thought, there are none. Except the Great White Ninja, that guy was special.
2. Viking Starts with V - And only kickass things start with 'V', like Victory, and Vodka, and Velocity, and Vicegrip,and Vectorman, and Vagina, and Valencia Oranges.
1. The Viking Code - There are certain things a man needs in his life. The Viking Code is the epitome of manliness: Rape, Pillage, Plunder. These three things are enough to make a man slightly erect just by the mention of them. So i decree to you, the readers, that next time you have trouble at work, or at the home, apply these three problem solving skills to your life.
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