Top Five Reasons to Date Nee

5. He has Skills - Granted they may be odd skills, like kicking himself in the back of the head, or playing Guitar Hero on his toes, he still has those skills. And hey, think of it this way, if he can play guitar hero like that, think of what else he can do with his fingers, if you know what I mean. And in case you don't, I mean he could diddle you for hours on end, even with his hands behind his head... Yeah, think about it...

4. He's Like a Teddy Bear - ...Only full of semen and beer instead of cotton. What a lucky girl (or 13 year old boy) you would be, to be held in the comfort of Nee's hands, all soft and calloused from playing bass. Ohh, Neeumms you make such a fwuffy teddy beawww.

3. Even Nee Uses Star Power - Thats right. Even someone as legendary as Nee, still struggles sometimes, but thats what gives him character. Worries of being overshadowed by his glory would be in vain, for Nee is human, just like us, and sometimes, even he has to use star power.

2. Pancake Nipples - Come on, do I really have to explain this one?

1. You Get to Tap Into his Unspoiled Pool of Sexuality - Trust me, this thing is like the holy grail of pent up sexual urges. Its size is comparable to the Atlantic Ocean, with about as much force as Niagara Falls in the spring. Your discovery would be legendary, and your name would become instantly carved into the stone that is history.