Top Fives Things to Do While Being Held Captive by Terrorists

5.Suggest Having a Sing-a-long - It helps pass the time, and depending on the song, can really perk up a rather boring hostage situation. Try Row, Row, Row Your Boat, it's a classic!

4. Call Allah a Bitch - Go ahead, mock them and their religion. They're probably going to kill you anyways, might as well have a laugh. It'll make your day when one of them pouts and gets teary-eyed as you tell them how you went to high school with their God and he wet himself when a girl talked to him. If you're too afraid for the insults, why not try...

3. Asking Them if They Have Found Jesus - Try and convert them! If you're good, they might just have a change of heart and send you on your way. Either that or kill you quickly so they don't have to hear you anymore.

2. Try and Be Jean Claude Van Damme - Kick some ass! Or at least attempt to. If you succeed, you know how great that will be? What choices do you have? Go bust a cap on some terrorist ass, it's better than sitting there and letting them have total control over the situation.

1. Actually Be Jean Claude Van Damme - This one is by far the trickiest, but if pulled off correctly, can be the most amazing thing ever. Just picture any Jean Claude Van Damme movie. You're Jean Claude, and the terrorists are the enemies of Jean Claude, now go kill all of them. He eats bullets for breakfast, and wipes his ass with sandpaper. When it's all said and done, you'll get a movie deal and the masses will bow before you. Of course, this is much easier to do if you are Jean Claude.