Top Five Benefits of Anal Sex (Giving)

5. No Chance of Babies - That is, of course, unless you have a hole going from your colon to your ovaries. In which case... That's awesome.

4. It's Tighter - Well, this is pretty self explanatory isn't it? If you want something loose goosey, try a deflated balloon.

3. It's Warmer - Sir William of Cock would prefer being in the Bahamas, than being in Canada, and so wouldn't your dick. Now, I ain't saying Canada is bad, by no means is it bad, but the Bahamas are a nice vacation spot and you go when you are able to. Unless you're rich, or work in brown town, you don't go very often. If you do, you are a very lucky man.

2. It Demeans Her - It's like giving her a mushroom stamp, or covering her face with goo. It just feels right. It's like telling her to go make you some filet mignon. You feel like an asshole, but it had to be done, because you can make your own food, but not good food.

1. It Makes You the Man - While it's going down, you know that feeling of accomplishment and justice you get on the inside? That's what I'm talking about. Much like Tony Danza, you are the boss, and afterwards should immediately go out and brag to all your friends.