Sunday Closer

Trying out a new format, we'll see how people like it. No update on Saturday? No. This still is Almost Daily Top Fives, that's not any different. Oh, and I have recently become aware that there actually is eyeball tattooing, so number three from yesterday is henceforth now going to be,

3. The Clitoris - I'm sure the women will appreciate this. Ouch, man. I can't, don't even want to talk about it. It's making me feel sick just thinking about. It'd be like if a giant syringe was attacking our erections, and I don't like when that shit happens.

It's Sunday night, the weekend is over. Shitty tit-tits. It was a decent weekend... Minus me leaving my windows open Friday night and the inside of my car getting soaked. Sunk. Check out this leaked set list for Guitar Hero 3!

Tier 1:
Foghat - Slow Ride
Poison - Talk Dirty to Me
Pat Benatar - Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Social Distortion - Story of My Life

Encore: Kiss - Rock and Roll All Nite
Co-op Encore: Beastie Boys - Sabotage

Tier 2:
Mountain - Mississippi Queen
Alice Cooper - School’s Out
Cream - Sunshine of Your Life
Heart - Barracuda

Boss: Tom Morello - Guitar Battle
Encore: Rage Against the Machine - Bull’s on Parade
Co-op Encore: The Strokes - Reptilia

Tier 3:
The Killers - When You Were Young
AFI - Miss Murder
The Who - The Seeker
Priestess - Lay Down

Encore: Rolling Stones - Paint It Black
Co-op Encore: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Suck My Kiss

Tier 4:
Black Sabbath - Paranoid
The Sex Pistols - Anarchy in the UK
Sonic Youth - Kool Thing
Weezer - My Name Is Jonas

Encore: Pearl Jam - Evenflow
Co-op Encore: Blue Oyster Cult - Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll

Tier 5:
The Dead Kennedy’s - Holiday in Cambodia
Scorpions - Rock You Like a Hurricane
Aerosmith - Same Old Song and Dance
ZZ Top - La Grange

Boss: Slash - Guitar Battle
Encore: Guns N Roses - Welcome to the Jungle
Co-op Encore: Bloc Party - Hellicopter

Tier 6:
Santana - Black Magic Woman
Smashing Pumpkins - Cherub Rock
White Zombie - Black Sunshine
Tenacious D - The Metal

Encore: Stevie Ray Vaughn - Pride and Joy
Co-op Encore: Matchbook Romance - Monsters

Tier 7:
Slipknot - Before I Forget
Disturbed - Stricken
Queens of the Stone Age - 3’s and 7’s
Muse - Knights of Cydonia

Encore: Living Colour - Cult of Personality

Tier 8:
Slayer - Raining Blood
Eric Johnson - Cliffs of Dover
Iron Maiden - Number of the Beast
Metallica - One

Boss: Lou - Guitar Battle
Encore: The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Bonus Tracks:

An Endless Sporadic - Impulse
Backyard Babies - Minus Celsius
Bret Michaels Band - Go That Far
Die Toten Hosen - Hier Kommit Alex
Dragonforce - Through the Fire and the Flames
Fall of Troy - FCP Remix
Gallows - In the Belly of a Shark
The Hellacopters - I’m in the Band
Heroes del Silencio - Avalancha
In Flames - Take This Life
Kaiser Chiefs - Ruby
Killswitch Engage - My Curse
LA Slum Lords - Dow
Dave says:
LA Slum Lords - Down N Dirty
Lacuna Coil - Closer
Lions - Metal Heavy Lady
NAAST - Mauvis Garcon
Prototype - The Way It Ends
Revolverhead - Generation Rock
Rise Against - Prayer of the Refugee
Scouts of St. Sebastian - In Love
Senses Fail - Can’t Be Saved
The Sleeping - Don’t Hold Back
The Stone Roses - She Bangs the Drums
Superbus - Radio Song

I think it looks pretty good. My new life mission is to beat Through the Fire and Flames on Expert. ...I'm now stalling because I can't think of a Top Five. You know, since I just made that comment about Dragonforce, I think it's time we paid them their due. Here it is!

Top Five Reasons Why Dragonforce Kicks Ass

5. Good Slow Songs - Ugh, the slow song. The mellow track of the almost completely amazing album. Why are they there? No one knows, but it has been tradition since before time began. But wait, is that a two minute solo I smell? Oh Dragonforce, you have truly stolen my heart.

4. Music Videos - They're full of explosions, and closeups of the singers face. And during the solos, anything thing can happen. During one, the two guitarists, Herman Li and Sam Totman, are playing a video game where they are themselves and soloing at each other and doing damage and getting combos.

3. Song Length and Solo Length - All of their songs are at least 7 minutes long because every one of them contains a dueling guitar solo that lasts for upwards of three minutes. They solo more on a daily basis than you eat.

2. Songs Combine Everything That is Sick - Power metal, speed metal, epic fantasy metal, lost mountains, endless seas, so far away from home. I mean, nobody has gotten anything that right since God invented boobs.

1. Herman Li - You have no idea, do you? Much like Jesus Christ, Herman Li's mother, Susan Li was touched by the holy spirit and thus, Herman Lee was born. Instead of turning water into wine, Li's magic is much more refined, and he spends much of his time practicing the art of soloing souls into redemption. He is also known for melting faces off and not speaking English very well. I've touched him, true story.