Top Five Reasons to Shave Your Pubes.

I was watching the Presidential Debates a few days ago and a question was posed to the candidates about their thoughts and beliefs on pubic landscaping. While it's a touchy subject up on Capital Hill, nothing here at Top Fives is sacred. Lets get this going!

5. It Totally Makes Your Johnson Look Bigger - Kumar, like the Dali Llama before him, sat upon his throne of enlightenment and uttered those words with sage-like wisdom. Take this with you, people, and be merry! I mean, its not like I need to do make it look bigger. Its friggin' huge. Generally speaking. Well, its certainly not that small. Hmm. Next point.

4. To Piss Off Your Roommates - Lets be honest. That hair that is scattered across your bathroom like it was dropped from a goddamn Crop Duster can only come from one place. Its inevitable that your roommates will suspect the worse when he finds it on his toothbrush. So, you might as well have some fun with it. Explore your surroundings. In my experience, I highly recommend the kitchen and passenger seat of his car.

3. Physics - Mathematically, it makes sense to shave your pubes. Theres less wind resistance, therefore you may thrust with such great justice and glory, the kind of justice and glory that has only been transcribed in The Great Gatsby. I.E. A Torpedo.

2. Convenient Navigation - Remember when Cortez traveled across the Atlantic in search of vast riches and comical genocide? Well, much to his dismay, he had to navigate his way through the dense underbrush of the South American Rainforest, risking life and limb. Its an analogy people. Don't be that guy.

1. Artistic Outlet - Well, while you are down there trimmin' the hedges, might as well get creative with it. I once had fashioned Burt Reynolds into my Pubis, and needless to say, the ladies loved it.