Top 5 Things Every Guy Should Know Part 1

I say part 1 because lets face it, we need to know more than 5 things. Let's just consider these 5 things, the top 5 of the night.

5. If There is Grass on the Field, Play Ball - And if nothing is growing, plant some seeds...

4. Lid Down: Only for Brown - No one wants to sit on a wet seat, and we all know the aiming changes every time, so we won't hold it against you. But do everyone, especially the ladies (they won't let this one go), and help keep the seat clean for special occasions.

3. There is Nothing Better than a Blumpkin - As Peeee would describe this, it is, "The glorious apex of two of the world's greatest creations becoming one." Urban Dictionary if you don't know it, Noob.

2. There is no Honor in Puking in a Toilet - Granted there is no shame in it either. It happens to the best of us, but please, if you must yak, do it in/on something funny, or perhaps expensive, to make the story that much more glorious.

1. Bros Before Hoes - She may be hot, and she might be an amazing cook, or just great in bed, but remember your bros come first. Because, after the break-ups, the knock-ups, and the burn of that potential STD subsides, your bros will always be there to help you get back on your feet, and call you a huge homo.