God damn it. Fucking Christ-muffins. Once again, I have returned to the Top Five. This one is for you Creez, you faggot. Since I have nothing better to Top Five, we're going to just mock Pettingrill, cause that's always funny.
Top Five Reasons Pettinfuzz Didn't Post
5. He Was Changing My Oil - Do I mean that sexually? Hah, that's for you to decide.
4. He's Gay - You didn't see this coming? Honestly? What a bunch of idiots. I could go on and on about how he was picking flowers and giving hand jobs to passersby. But, I won't.
3. He Was Partying - This isn't a bad excuse, really. I was there, I saw him partying. He was all reaching over beruit tables and trying to touch random underage chicks. What a true American Hero.
2. He Was Praying to Steve Jobs - That's what Mac users do, right? They're the ones with the goat's blood and chickens I think. Or they slit their wrists. Or both.
1. He Lacks the Testicular Fortitude - We all know it, but we don't speak it. I'm not trying to be cocky, but I have like, the Balls of Zeus. They're just... Mighty. You could compare them to Andre the Giant's fists. Anyways, what I'm getting at is it takes real cannonballs to put your Top Five up for everyone to see. It's like showing your genitals to the world. And I think he's a little afraid of showing us his length.
* Note: Before writing this I had not actually spoken to Pettinfuzz on the matter.
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3 comments:
Well the reaching over the table isnt so bad, usually its knocking over half his cups on a block attempt.
In the words of the legendary Sean Reynolds, SINK!
-Lex
true story, he does like the underage chicas...or chicos in some cases...you never know with this kid
you cant sink the cups of they're not on the table. Its a patented defense strategy.
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