Almost Daily My Ass

Yeah, well, what do you want from me? This is volunteer work people. Highest turnover rate, ever. Anyways, some sinking and drunken debauchery has occurred since last we Top Fived it. Canada can be marked off the to do list. I'm not sure it'll be the same now that I've shown the Canadians what real men look and act like. I only drove down one road and walked around one city, but I assume the whole country is the same. Which leads me to the Top Five...



Top Five Worst Things About Canada*

5. It Smells Like Shit - Their cities are mighty clean, but before you hit any of those cities plan on suffering through 50 miles of farmland. It's like the planned it so that the entire border to our country would smell like ass and ward off our superior genetics.

4. They Speak French - Prepare to understand 10% of the things and people you encounter. Although that's better than some countries, it's also French. Making it worse.

3. The Private Dance Girls Start Drinking At Noon - We have witnesses, and I know one man in Montreal that had a close encounter of both the sexy, and kick to the head kind. Also, they tend to flick their juices at you. Gross.

2. Their Money Looks Fake - I have a five dollar bill on me right now. The back consists mainly of children playing hockey. Wow. What a nation. The twenty has a boat of random things on it. They either gave up on design, or they just have nothing they cherish as a nation like honor or justice or even glory. Sounds like a pretty shitty country to me.

1. Everyone is Canadian - It's obvious, yes, but you don't seem to understand the significance of it. They're from Canada. They're a people united under one... Leaf. Fucking faggots.

Come back tomorrow** for Top Five Best Things About Canada!

*Note: By Canada, I mean the small amount of the country I've actually been to.

**Also Note: And by tomorrow, I meant the next time I update.